what a journal it has been

I just had a trip back in time, baca diary dari tahun 2002. Pertama, cuma mau baca satu halaman aja, but I enjoy my self to much, I finished the hole book.
Back than I don't have a blog, I figured it's just my best way to describe my self. I love reading, I wanna write like those adventure books I read, although I quickly wake up to see that how boring my life is.
U know, I have a few concept and period in my diary, journal or whatever it is.
I write my first journal back when I was still in 3rd or 4th grade I think. It was so lame, mostly it's about a fight I had with my sister cause she always takes the best stuff, my day with my favorite stuffed animal Wempy, or when I was crying. Then I stopped writing.
I found the book again when I was in junior high, read it, and decided to write again, this time I was in the period of when I love movies so much. Every week I would save my money to rent laserdisc of every movie I read about in teen beat. My favorite movie was Clueless, I loved it. It was about nothing and everything, I thought.. I could easily write that. So, I start to write again. In that period the book was filled with.. So, okay I was like... u know... totally.. pretty stupid huh... bummer.. (I still laugh when I read it, amy hackerling should hire me as her writer). Then I stopped again.
Another period is when someone liked me, I can't express my feelings by talking, so I write. Although I tell my self I don't like him, the book is all about him. Till I tell my self to stop, and buy another book, and promise my self never to write about him.
With the new book, I wrote affirmation infront of the page.

This is supposed to be a turning point for me. I want to start a journal that is supposed to reveal my expression and learning about everything in my life. I will try to focused on what I really want and not doing it because what every will think of me. An impression has been a big role in my life, hoped it would be out of the question 4 me.
I will try :
- to keep my promise
- be more organized
- love my self (and take good care of it)
- stop arguing with Papa
- closer to GOD

In this book, I put the center in my feeling, dengan bahasa yang belang-belang I think I get my self more, I'm more opened, I'm more optimist, more creative in expressing what I had to deal with, but I'm still a wanderer.
I think that will always be a part of me, a wanderer that is.
That's why when i read the book today, i missed that part about me, so much that i wanna write again.
I'm still not a devoted friend of the book, I still constantly leave it, and sporadically write it. But, there are time when I opened the book and read the front page, and I get up on my feet again.